Oh man….this should be a good one! We want to hear your best captions for this! The best one wins…we’re not sure yet…
UPDATE: This is also today’s “Two Minute Hate”!
Listen….if you don’t think you can win, then please do not fly to Texas. Just quit now and stay home. Give them the last game and let them rest up for the next series. Take all the money spent on chartering a plane and staying in a hotel and give it to Crawford in cash. And all of you chip in a few extra hundred thousand a piece also. Use that money to beg, bribe, or whatever you can to get Carl to stay so you can make a run at it next year.
I’m dead serious about this. You’re playing like there’s no way you can win. Not a damn ounce of focus or inspiration. Pitching sucks. Batting sucks. For the first time in three years the defense sucks. I mean this: DO NOT GO TO TEXAS if you’re only this good. Just go to the fucking Bishop and drink the off-season away. Do not waste another dime of Sternberg’s money on travel expenses if you all finished the season last week.
On the other hand….if you can win…and win in Texas….and win three in a row…THEN GO DO IT!!! No goddamn excuses. No bullshit errors. No weak ass batting. Guess what? The whole league figured out you can hit fastballs. That’s why you haven’t seen a good one in 2 months. Please learn to get the bat on something else. Like right now!
Either show up big-time, or don’t fucking bother to show up at all.
So this is who we play tomorrow? Ummmmm…. I know he’s supposed to be some super bad-ass or whatever, but really, I think the Rays are gonna have like….9 guys out there…….and some backup too.
I mean, maybe the gun is a little scary. But 2/3 of the Detroit Tigers carry guns and that didn’t go so bad.
Really he looks more like a 70’s porn star than a baseball team, but whatever. Just seems like a pretty lopsided deal. That’s all I’m saying.
In all seriousness, there’s no doubt that ALDS Game 1 is going to be a hell of a gunfight between two very talented pitchers……..but the smart money’s on this guy! GO RAYS!!!!!!
Alas, my friends, it has finally come to pass…..
In the short time that “Below Average” or “No ‘M'” or whatever we’re calling this masterpiece-in-progress these days, it has been with only one voice that we tend to address our faithful minions. The fact of the matter, however, is that there are a few of us who contribute regularly for your reading pleasure (at this point you’re thinking “Why the hell can’t they be more consistent with their posts, then?”). And it was bound to happen that at some point there would be dissention even amongst our own Ray-loving, Yankme-hating ranks.
I am fiercely proud of my colleague for taking a bold, stupid-mouth stand against Longo and Price for making comments regarding fan attendance. See, it is this very ability for our opinions to differ that lends strength and creedence to not only our beloved site, but to the very nation we inhabit.
So thank you, Other Guy, for making ridiculous comments. For without ridiculousness, who would have ever invented the Pocket Fisherman, or allowed Will Ferrel to remake Land of the Lost? Without these bearings of wrongness, how would I even know when I was soooo right?
The thing is, dear fans, that I agree with Longo and Price. And I think it is unfortunate and maybe a little embarrassing to see a less-than-half filled stadium on the night of a possible playoff clinch. I don’t know what to do about it, or what causes it, just kinda disappointing, that’s all. But it’s ok for us internally here to disagree. And it’s ok for you fans out there to disagree with us, also, though we’ll likely make fun of you and call you names for doing so. Surely there is some equation relating the number of people in the Bay area to the number of seats in the stadium to the number of home games in a year…..then factored by differing ticket prices….then compared to tonight’s attendance with 20,000 free tickets handed out like so much Halloween candy…..but I’m not feeling up to it right now.
This was me 20 hours ago yelling “CLINCHYCLINCHYCLINCHYCLINCHYCLINCHYCLINCHYCLINCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Congrats Rays on making it to the playoffs 2 times in 3 years!! Back where we belong! Now bring it on home…..
Here we go baby!